Finding a coffee shop the old school way

Why I write without AI

On June 2nd, when Cori and Carolyn came to Milwaukee to record some new songs, we recorded an old one too. This is “Joy”. I love Cori’s amazing violin solo at 2:22! Click on the picture to hear :)

Reading Garrett Bucks’ post You Will Never Win at AI reminded me of something I take so for granted that I rarely remember to mention it.

It’s about why I write (and why I don’t mind spending many hours doing it). Yes, I do wonder at times if maybe something is wrong with me that I labor over words, question them, reread them, and rewrite them. Then I remember that writing has helped me get to know myself, not fool myself, and pay closer attention. It’s helped me swim below the surface (of what I think I think) and see what else is there.

I recently wrote a piece that took many days. I kept asking “am I describing it the way it was?” “is it as true as it can be?” or “is it only mostly true because it’s too hard to tell the whole, diverse, tangential, truth?”

When I surrender to the process of writing, I exercise my brain and discover what I think and feel. Of course, writing is a communication with others, but first it’s a communication with me.

“Hello Anne, what’s going on in that consciousness of yours?”

“Thanks so much for asking. Here are a few things I’ve been wondering about, chewing on, and feeling inspired by.”

So what about AI? I’ve used AI for tasks like shortening a bio to a certain number of words. I do not (and will not) use AI for my thinking-through of ideas or soul-searching because the whole point is the process. I explore my memories of relationships and experiences. I check in with other people about what they recall. We make meaning.

I think I’m saying something super obvious, but maybe it’s worth repeating: AI can’t soul search me. Only I can.

When I write, I often have to face something or FEEL something (this one I don’t like). When I avoid this (or if I were to avoid it by using AI to write), I’d also avoid emotional, intellectual (and possibly spiritual) intimacy with myself. If I avoid it with myself, I end up inadvertently avoiding it with others.

(Caveat: a friend told a story about how AI helped her “talk through” a problem. That’s not what I’m addressing here. I’m talking about not letting AI write for me).

Also something fun! Maybe three times a year, I visit this one coffee shop (with delicious chocolate orange muffins!!). I’m not certain where the coffee shop is, but I know the general direction of it. When I go there, I shut off Googlemaps to see if I can find my way without help. I want to see if that part of my brain still works. I don’t usually find the coffee shop immediately. Often, I go a roundabout way. Eventually, however, I get there! Honestly, it’s exhilarating! (& the muffins taste sweeter from working harder to get to them ;)).

It feels like an adventure to shut off the map.

Xo, a

Ps: Some of you have been with me a long time and know this song, “Joy.” Others are new here (welcome)! Here’s a live video we made of us playing the song a few weeks ago at TreeHouse Studios in Milwaukee. Lyrics below!

Joy by Anne Heaton @2019

I’ve got nothing against you
I just want to be heard
Like every child, woman and man
In this big beautiful world
I knew boys like you in high school

Thought if I ignored, you’d go away
But what I fear grows, what I resist persists
I need joy to be my best

How do I look on you with joy in my heart?
Look on you with joy in my heart?

I get up before the sunrise
Look at the stars in the night sky
I breathe in and out slowly
I let my fears rise up out of me

Like smoke floating over the sea
I find the joy in my heart early
Open my eyes to the birds, the trees

I feel joy in my heart
Joy in my heart
Joy in the world, joy in the world, joy in the world

I read the Hiding Place, Lived through an arms race
Knew at 4, I’ d not retaliate
Against the bomb, if up to me
‘Cause then there’ d be no place to be
Oh no not a gun in every school
Digging in the ocean for dirty fuel
Backing out of what we agreed to
And I fear the worst

With joy in my heart
Joy in my heart

The way you look at something changes things
The way you look at something changes things

So who’re you gonna be? How’re you gonna see?
Some say it’s mercy
Others give hugs for free
Some try to get us to zero
I see kids in New York from every land
Who don’t know any different
Laughing and holding hands
While parents watch them play

With joy in their hearts
Joy in their hearts
Joy in the world, joy in the world, joy in the world

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